Fear: How To Use It To Achieve Your Dreams
From Guest Blogger Ashley Smaldino
I usually write recipes here, but I thought I would tackle a topic beyond food for this post: FEAR plus how to use it to achieve your dreams. I thought it would be pretty appropriate for this time of year, with Halloween just around the corner. I’m not talking “ahh!” I’m-afraid-of-the-monster-in-the-movies kind of fear, I’m talking the kind of fear that paralyzes us in our daily lives and keeps us from reaching for the stars and achieving our dreams.
I’m sure you’ve heard a lot about the fight-or-flight response–how our bodies naturally want to run away from danger (for example, a lion chasing us) or stick around and show what we’re made of (fists up, fighter stance). This amazing survival mechanism is built into our bodies to keep us safe, to give us all the power we have to run or to give us every ounce of energy and strength to fight. The trouble is, our bodies have no idea that there is a difference between an actual threat to our lives and chronic stress, such as being overwhelmed by work, getting stuck in traffic or worrying about money. I’m not saying these types of situations aren’t stressful and scary. Of course they are! What’s important is that you learn tools to use your fear as a guide so you can move beyond what scares you and live the life you desire!
The first step: Become aware of the areas of your life that you are avoiding or want to run away from when something comes up. Do you avoid looking at bank statements or bills? Do you feel the need to distract yourself from writing that difficult email or making that phone call? Do you notice that you pick a fight with a certain friend or family member to avoid being vulnerable with them? And what about food? Do you turn to food for comfort even when you aren’t hungry?
The second step: Ask yourself “What am I really afraid of? What’s the worst thing that could happen?” Free write in a journal for a few minutes about everything that might happen that really freaks you out. After you’ve written out the worst case scenario, ask yourself “So if this did happen, what would I do?” Picture your fear coming true and plan out exactly how you would navigate the situation after it occurred and how you would get back to a place of feeling grounded.
The third step: Now that you’ve pictured what can go wrong, I want you to focus on what could go RIGHT. If you did what you are afraid to do, what is the best thing that could happen? Don’t be shy here, go big!
The fourth and final step: Look back over what you’ve written, for both the worst case and best case scenarios. Ask yourself “Am I willing to give up these amazing possibilities (the best case scenarios)?” Most often, the answer is HECK NO! It’s so easy to think “What if I fail? What if I make a fool out of myself?” etc. etc. but what if you succeed?! What if you go for it and everything works out beautifully?! You will never know if you don’t try! So the final part of this is: GO FOR IT!
Yes, you may be scared out of your mind, but as one of my favorite teachers says, feel the fear and do it anyway. It will be worth it! And please remember to breathe, nice, long, deep breaths throughout this entire process; it helps bring down stress levels!
Try this breathing exercise to help reduce stress in your body now.
Big Hugs & Health,
Ashley
Ashley is a Certified Integrative Nutrition Health Coach, yogi, nature lover and self-proclaimed banana junkie living in Los Angeles. She helps women navigate stress, anxiety and chronic health issues so they can start living the life of purpose, passion, freedom and joy they deeply desire—she believes the life of your dreams IS possible, that your body can heal itself with the right tools and that you were born to live without limits!
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