My Health Journey This Year

I’ve probably written this note to you about a dozen times, trying to get what I want to share right and real and I finally decided it was time.

This year it was easier for me to create recipes and talk about my client success stories than it was to write about what was going on in my personal life. It’s not that I didn’t want to share; it’s just that I needed time to fully comprehend it all before I tried to put it down into words. I just needed time to be with me. 

Life is full of so many lessons and I certainly got my fill this year. It was very humbling, scary, exciting, truthful, honest and raw. I am even more grateful for my health now than ever before, if that is even possible. I have an even deeper appreciation of how good health is truly the foundation of your life and is worth every moment and every penny you spend on it.

What helped me get through this year was knowing that I had a support system of amazing women in my life who were experiencing the same pain, joy and growth that I was. Having these people on speed dial was what really helped me make decisions that were the best for me in that moment.

Today, I’m sharing the most raw blog post that I have written in hopes that you find solace with the idea that you are never alone no matter where you might be, no matter how you feel and no matter what is going on.

Last year when my husband and I returned home from our honeymoon we discovered that I was pregnant! It was a surprise to both of us, but as shocked and scared as we both were, we were also very excited. Our new life was coming together. I was building a business, I was with my life partner, and now we were going to introduce a beautiful new baby into our lives. It felt right.

One night as I was about to leave for a client’s house I suddenly started bleeding. I was so scared. The next few hours I experienced more pain than I have ever in my life and I knew in my heart that I was losing my baby. During the next week I was in and out of the doctor’s office more than I would have liked. Everything was handled very poorly. And like I see happen with many of my clients, I ended up getting very angry and upset at how I was being treated instead of grieving for my loss.

I threw myself into my work because that’s what we do when we cannot handle such a big event in our lives. We go into our work. We numb. We do whatever it takes to avoid our feelings, we eat, exercise or binge on Netflix. But this can only last for so long before something needs to change, and if we don’t make the decision to change, life makes the decision for us.

And so, of course, what I see happen all the time with the women I work with happened to me. I got sick. I guess it shouldn’t have come as a huge surprise to me that after months of not talking about what was going on created a thyroid imbalance when I had no history of it.

I remember how I felt that afternoon when I made my OBGYN take a test of my thyroid despite her thinking I was fine and that my exhaustion was normal. I was so scared and frustrated. But also so grateful for everything I knew about health. I knew that with some modifications to my diet and my lifestyle and talking about what was going on to the right people would help me feel better. It was that knowledge and a lot of support that helped me this year. 

Now, I look back and feel so much compassion for where I was. Experiencing a miscarriage hits you deep in the heart and despite not always responding the best way that I could, I am grateful for the practice of life. It teaches us that there is always a new level of understanding that we can reach. There is always more feeling to do. And there is always a deeper exploration of how to align our lives with our health so we are fully supporting our body, mind and spirit. It also shows me once again how we all have the ability to heal our bodies with food and tons of self care. Even though it took a little bit, I feel better than I have in a long time. 

So why am I sharing all this with you? Because I understand that it is so much easier to hide behind your computer than it is to get support. It is so much easier to watch TV than to face the yucky feelings you feel inside. And it’s definitely easier to pretend there is nothing wrong than to call someone and say you need help.

My willingness to share all of this with you, despite numerable moments when I wanted to delete it all and just keep posting recipes and wellness tips, is my act of service to you. There is nothing to be ashamed of. We are all human. We have the ability to heal our bodies and feel even better than we do right now. I completely honor wherever you are in your journey. You are always supported, you are never alone.

Big Hugs & Health,